Monday, September 05, 2005
I have decided to make a change in my life.
I have had this blog for about a year. As much as I looked forward to being able to use it as a vehicle to share my thoughts, writing the blog has been an exercise in frustration for me. The spontaneous, intuitive flow I enjoy when talking, totally dries up when I try to fit into the blog world. I love nothing more than to share with other believers about the Lord. He is my life, my reason for being, and my breath. However, that passion gets short-circuited when I try to capture that spontaneity in the written word. I feel totally restricted and confined. I am not a writer by nature. I am a communicator, yes, but in a verbal sense.
For those of you unfamiliar with the movie, “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”, there is a scene depicting the character Sundance, a crack-shot gunfighter, trying to ‘go straight’. He has a sort of job interview with a grizzled old guy who’s in charge of ensuring the payroll gets transported safely in the wilderness region of Bolivia. Since the area is crawling with bandits, the old man wants to know how well Sundance can shoot, so he picks a target and tells Sundance to aim at it. Time after time, Sundance misses, which doesn’t inspire confidence in his potential boss. Just as the old man is about to dismiss him, Sundance asks, “Can I move?” (meaning, he wanted to show his shooting ability on his own terms and in his own way). When allowed to move, he hit everything thrown his way with rapid-fire precision. “Yer hired!” was his boss’s incredulous reply.
I can identify totally. That line, “Can I move?” is representative of who I am. As Paul said in Acts, “In Him I live, move and have my being”. I simply cannot express myself in the written word. God has simply not wired me that way. To me, it is just another expression of that which appeals and is alluring to me to try to connect, fit in and belong, as I did for a good portion of my life in the institutional church. Case in point – even this final entry is being edited by my wife!
I’m not planning on shutting my blog down for the moment. But I am extending, once again, the offer to connect, fellowship with you via SKYPE (see the icon on this site. It’s a free download with no spy-ware). Using SKYPE, you can send instant messages via Yahoo Messenger as well as participate in a live voice chat. In both cases my user name is ‘ptemailman’.
As I was sharing with a friend via SKYPE, I realize God gives us the choice to settle for something far less than Him. How grateful I am for the fact that He wants me to know the truth! In the process the truth will set me free. Stopping this blog is the first step.
I extend the invitation to reciprocate, to get to know me beyond the printed word. I would absolutely love to fellowship with other believers who want to know Christ. If that does or doesn’t happen, I’m going on with the Lord.
Hello???....Can you hear me now?...over….