Sunday, January 14, 2007

A Consuming Fire

What is about to be unleashed upon the earth is a storm unparalleled, this will eclipse all other storms, and yet He speaks to me, 'Let not your heart be troubled (unbelieving) be of good cheer, for I have over come the world.'

I am beginning to recognize that the physical storms are nothing in and of them selves, but they must come to bring to the surface the truth of what/Who is real in me.Jesus spoke long ago to His disciples, follow me, it has not changed, He speaks to me/us today, Follow Me.
I will never face, or overcome the storms of life while pretending there are no storms hidden within my soul.

You have breathed your Life/breath into me, the wind of your Spirit is wreaking havoc from deep within, oh how I welcome this Holy terror, this impenetrable darkness gnaws at my bones, come devour me.


Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Try me, and know my anxieties

"Many of us have been brought up to believe that to judge is wrong but to discern is alright; judgment is negative, discernment is positive. Somehow discerning and perceiving sounds much better (and more 'spiritual') to us than 'judging'. However, our English dictionaries define discernment as judgment and judgment as "discernment - making critical distinctions to achieve a balanced viewpoint".

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God!

Father, the longing of my being is to see You, to have a singleness of vision. Make my eye single, that my whole body might be filled with Light.


Sunday, January 07, 2007

Committing Adultery with the Bride of Christ

Often eunuchs were put in charge of a King’s harem for the obvious reason that they had been emasculated, therefore no sexual appetite or desire would interfere with their job assignment, and involvement in the many needed and necessary duties assigned by the king. Frequently, these duties would involve the eunuch being in very close proximity to women when performing their purification preparations. They would see the women partially or totally disrobed, and would even assist in overseeing the proper bathing protocol. These women were the King’s property and any hint of sexual impropriety would not only contaminate the woman (whose life would quickly be snuffed out), but the eunuch in charge would meet with the severest and most gruesome of punishments.

What I believe I am seeing is this: we all have egos, and the degree to which my longing or needs are not met in Him alone, I will be a moving target for the enemy of my soul to entice me to take that which is His and use it for my own selfish unrestrained appetites – much like Lucifer trying to steal the glory of the Father. My involvement in and amongst the body of Christ will be (whether consciously or not) to solicit or steal the heart affections of a member of His bride to meet some unmet need within my soul. In other words, I see it being very possible to commit spiritual adultery with another Man’s wife-to-be. How is this possible? Let’s say in my soul I crave affirmation, attention or recognition and I love to hear how my spiritual insights or counsel bless others. Let’s say those insights or counsel are spoken to someone who craves (in his/her soul) someone to lead them, to advise them, to comfort them – a role that should be fulfilled by the Lord alone. That person would look to ME instead of to the Lord, and in that sense I would be committing spiritual adultery.

The real inner workings of a man always seem to be where he cannot see, in the depths of the heart, where the motives and the intents dwell. The enemy of our soul knows exactly where the twisted areas of our soul are, and he seduces us from those vantage points.

However, as one brother put it, ‘the whole discipline of life is to enable us to enter into this closest relationship with Jesus Christ’ (becoming His friend, meaning identity in thought and heart and spirit), and a friend does not usurp that which is not rightfully his.

I like how plainly ‘The Message’ reads:

‘John answered, "It's not possible for a person to succeed—I'm talking about eternal success—without heaven's help. You yourselves were there when I made it public that I was not the Messiah but simply the one sent ahead of him to get things ready. The one who gets the bride is, by definition, the bridegroom. And the bridegroom's friend, his 'best man'—that's me—in place at his side where he can hear every word, is genuinely happy. How could he be jealous when he knows that the wedding is finished and the marriage is off to a good start? That's why my cup is running over. This is the assigned moment for him to move into the center, while I slip off to the sidelines.”

We need to be ever soberly vigilant that we direct others to depend upon the Lord, and not on us or anyone else, be they preachers, teachers, evangelists or brothers or sisters in the Lord lest we discover, too late, that we have stolen the affections of His Bride.


Friday, January 05, 2007

Communicating Truth

This is in response to a comment made on my last entry on my blog yesterday.


I don't know that we're even talking about the same thing, but thank you for your thoughts.

What I tried to share in my last entry on my blog wasn't about some little glitch, or annoying speed bump, it has hounded me all of my journey with Him.
The beautiful thing is I do not need anyone to see or understand what the hell I'm trying to say.
I have and I will probably continue trying to fill that void with meaningless chit chat.
As I have shared with different ones (those I consider being of a kindred spirit) most of my life as a Christ one, I have played the role of a spiritual prostitute, willing to do almost anything to fit in, belong, connect..whatever it took. Really not much different than how I lived before coming to Christ.

I'm tired of lying to myself in the name of God for the glory of God shit. I'm tired of eating (stuffing myself) on cotton candy, or as I like to call it, soul cocaine, to try and fill that void created by my Father for one KNOW Him!!

I'm including some comments from my dear Friend and Brother Dave left on my blog after I crashed and went to bed with a horribly sore back and yes, feeling so over whelmed in the sea of loneliness.


Dave said...

Maybe in all that we've been going through lately... we're realizing that we are dying to that need for fellowship that is more the "mutual accommodation of self needs" (as Wayne has said somewhere).
That need for visibility, acceptance, vindication, me, me, me. And we are seeing what we've known for a long while... that only He can meet that need... only He can fill that loneliness.
The GJ forum can be that substitute for sure. Looking for love and Life in all the wrong places.
So maybe it's a matter of seeing with new eyes. Seeing and embracing real fellowship... not for what we get out of it but a fellowship of serving others and laying down our agendas and needs that we might be free to draw others to Him

Thursday, January 04, 2007


In sharing with my brother Dave today, we put out many different thoughts out to dry like laundry blowing in the wind.
No iron clad definite conclusions, but for certain, a continuing gnawing upon our souls.

Before I share some of my thoughts I sent to my brother after our time of thinking out loud earlier today, I want to scratch and sniff this new fragrance.
It's called Canned Son Shine, that original fragrance from the mountain top experience.

Can you use your imagination for a moment we me, let's pretend shall we.
If you are familiar with the story where Jesus takes Peter, James and John with him up to the mountain top, and suddenly it says, Jesus was transfigured before their very eyes, He became brighter than the noon day sun.
Many things happened there, but this one I am speaking of sticks in my memory like an egg to a frying pan with all of the Teflon gone.

Peter immediately thinks this unearthly moment should be captured for posterity sake.
He bursts out, 'Lord it is good we are with you, seeing all of this splendor. lets build three booths, one for Elijah, another for Moses and of course, one for you.
Canned Son Shine! You know so when things get dull, lonely, boring or whatever, we along with Peter can open our Canned Son Shine and savor that moment of splendor from long ago.
Are we, am I called to live on how others have seen Him, or are seeing Him today?
When the crunch comes which could be just about any day, am I going to quickly listen to the latest Christan pod cast, or look for someones keen insight being quoted from some brilliant somebody within Christendom?

Maybe this whole unrelenting issue of loneliness is not ever going to go away, except for when I choose to camp at the feet of some cheap substitute, and even then, it simply is used to put me to sleep, and all the time I join in on the song being sung, 'This is like heaven to me'.

Here are those thoughts I shared with my friend Dave.

Bro, I loved our sharings today! I copied and pasted all of it onto a word pad screen for Margi to read. I wanted her thoughts on it all. She loved it as well.
As she saw what we were trying to get in touch with, it is so easy to simply pitch our tents and camp or become a camp of fellowshipping saints out side of the religious box, only to use this strong desire to connect, to maybe drown out the loneliness we all are experiencing to one degree or another. Especially for those of us who were visible and vocal within the ic, so much of being so active with 'meetings' was like a narcotic to drown out the deep loneliness at least for me that never seemed to go away except for the next fix-meeting. But maybe that loneliness was meant to drive us toward Him?


Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Staying Fit

This past weekend was most interesting, some real ups and downs for sure. How easy it is to be or get distracted from that which is real-important, swept up into some side eddy, like a barker beckoning you to try your luck at his booth, only one dollar for three throws.

As I wrote in my first entry for the New Year of 2007, ‘Is God enough’? The things that would try and lead me to drift away from Him are not seen as evil, loathsome things at all. In fact I can be so certain it is Him leading me to do what I am doing.The never ending pull of the undercurrent of the enemy of my soul tries the same thing all over again, no new tricks up his sleeves; the old ones seem to work just fine.

I think of Paul speaking to a group of believers about how he was greatly concerned in how easily they were being led astray, allowing their heart felt devotion to one husband, Christ Jesus, to be taken from them, and possibly looking for a different lover.

Getting back to my weekend, after experiencing some very turbulent waters between my wife and I,( only because of what I am trying to say here, being deceived by that which seemed so good, and yet was in fact the enemy of the best) we were, I was, able to see how if I am not sober, vigilant, I can be so easily sucked into something looking so good, and yet be so void of Life and lasting fulfillment. I’m grateful the Lord is a jealous lover, and His jealousy is a constant thwarting of anything I do, and finding out, only He will satisfy the longing in my soul.

I am so grateful for how my Father spoke such life and healing once again into the core of my being yesterday morning through my precious wife, once again seeing so much more clearly that which is important-Him, He is enough!!

As I was reading from 1st Timothy this morning, these were some beautiful words of love drawing my soul unto my Lover, chasing the cobwebs from my eyes.


Stay clear of silly stories that get dressed up as religion. Exercise daily in God—no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever. You can count on this. Take it to heart. This is why we've thrown ourselves into this venture so totally. We're banking on the living God, Saviour of all men and women, especially believers.

Running Hard

But you, Timothy, man of God: Run for your life from all this. Pursue a righteous life—a life of wonder, faith, love, steadiness, courtesy. Run hard and fast in the faith. Seize the eternal life, the life you were called to, the life you so fervently embraced in the presence of so many witnesses.

I'm charging you before the life-giving God and before Christ, who took his stand before Pontius Pilate and didn't give an inch: Keep this command to the letter, and don't slack off. Our Master, Jesus Christ, is on his way. He'll show up right on time, his arrival guaranteed by the Blessed and Undisputed Ruler, High King, High God. He's the only one death can't touch, his light so bright no one can get close. He's never been seen by human eyes—human eyes can't take him in! Honor to him, and eternal rule! Oh, yes.

Tell those rich in this world's wealth to quit being so full of themselves and so obsessed with money, which is here today and gone tomorrow. Tell them to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage—to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous. If they do that, they'll build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life.

And oh, my dear Timothy, guard the treasure you were given! Guard it with your life. Avoid the talk-show religion and the practiced confusion of the so-called experts. People caught up in a lot of talk can miss the whole point of faith.

Overwhelming grace keep you!

Monday, January 01, 2007

How Could This Not Be God?

Location: entrance to heaven

Cast: Ministers, preachers, teachers, televangelists, leaders of small groups or bible studies, facilitators, etc.

Background: These people have devoted their lives to helping others. All have followings. All are highly regarded, respected, 'looked up to'. All believe they were 'called'. But - at their death, all are horrified at what they see. They see that in essence, they have robbed God. Stolen from Him, taking what was rightfully His... for themselves. How could this be? Because innate in every human is the flesh (born in sin, shaped in iniquity) and Satan appeals to human ego from that vantage point. What was his initial lie in the Garden? It's this: God's not enough!

People are ALWAYS looking for someone to lead them. It is as true today as it was in Moses' day. They don't think they can hear from God themselves, and those in positions of authority are all too eager to agree with them. So, some charismatic, affable individual comes along who has spiritual 'insights', who is 'mature', who can help the poor misguided find their way, who can lead the sheep to pasture, and the sheep willingly acquiesce. We have all marveled at this phenomenon - how nice, ordinary, everyday people-next-door types could give up everything to follow the Jim Joneses of the world to South America, eventually going so far as to drink poison Kool-Ade simply because he told them to do so!

The point is - we all must be vigilant as to the secret desires and motives of our hearts. Satan can and DOES appeal to us as an angel of light. Things that look to us to be so good are not necessarily so. If we are brutally honest with ourselves, we have to ask some very direct questions - Why am I doing this? Am I deluding myself? Is God really in this, or am I being seduced by the father of lies to satisfy my own lusts? Do I have a deep desire to be recognized, to be noticed, to get attention, to be appreciated, to be flattered, to be needed...? If so, am I attributing these fleshly cravings to God? "God called me". "God led me". "God has directed me". Oh, really? The enemy is nothing if not subtle and diabolically devious to the point where the very elect can be deceived!

So to get back to the issue of robbing God: how many pastors, preachers, teachers, etc. have taken God's place in the lives of His precious children? Who do these people listen to? Who do they run to for guidance or comfort? Who instructs them? Who advises them, who helps them along the way? Who do they look up to?

I once heard it said, "God is not enough. We also need each other". If that's true, what about the naked, cold saint of God who's wasting away in a damp prison cell in solitary confinement, and all because he loves the Lord? Is God not enough for him?

We are all responsible for our choices - those in positions of authority and those who follow them. If we think God is not enough, then we'll listen to and follow the teachings of others. If we think God is not enough, we'll set ourselves up as spiritual leaders. It all looks so good and innocent, but the basis of it all is Satan, twisting and perverting. If he can't keep us from being born again, he'll keep us from knowing our identity in Christ. We'll eventually make it to heaven, yes, but at what cost?

So here's the bottom line: Is God enough?