Friday, January 05, 2007
This is in response to a comment made on my last entry on my blog yesterday.
I don't know that we're even talking about the same thing, but thank you for your thoughts.
What I tried to share in my last entry on my blog wasn't about some little glitch, or annoying speed bump, it has hounded me all of my journey with Him.
The beautiful thing is I do not need anyone to see or understand what the hell I'm trying to say.
I have and I will probably continue trying to fill that void with meaningless chit chat.
As I have shared with different ones (those I consider being of a kindred spirit) most of my life as a Christ one, I have played the role of a spiritual prostitute, willing to do almost anything to fit in, belong, connect..whatever it took. Really not much different than how I lived before coming to Christ.
I'm tired of lying to myself in the name of God for the glory of God shit. I'm tired of eating (stuffing myself) on cotton candy, or as I like to call it, soul cocaine, to try and fill that void created by my Father for one purpose..to KNOW Him!!
I'm including some comments from my dear Friend and Brother Dave left on my blog after I crashed and went to bed with a horribly sore back and yes, feeling so over whelmed in the sea of loneliness.
Maybe in all that we've been going through lately... we're realizing that we are dying to that need for fellowship that is more the "mutual accommodation of self needs" (as Wayne has said somewhere).
That need for visibility, acceptance, vindication, me, me, me. And we are seeing what we've known for a long while... that only He can meet that need... only He can fill that loneliness.
The GJ forum can be that substitute for sure. Looking for love and Life in all the wrong places.
So maybe it's a matter of seeing with new eyes. Seeing and embracing real fellowship... not for what we get out of it but a fellowship of serving others and laying down our agendas and needs that we might be free to draw others to Him.