Monday, November 20, 2006
I remember that fateful morning looking back seemingly so far and long ago. Sitting or perched in my spot within the sanctified building enduring another Sunday morning 'church service'. To this day I have NO recollection of anything that was going on around me that morning, but I was THERE!
There is so much that precedes this snap shot moment in my story, but suffice it to say, long before this morning of the axe being laid to the root of my tree, I had said to God, 'Lord, I do not want to ever even think of leaving or doing anything that is simply me being disillusioned or being impulsive.'
When I said this I meant it, but never dreamed He would in fact be confronting me, as He put it, 'You can go and Live, or stay and Die'!What He was saying to me has no reflection upon those (my brothers and sisters in Christ) who were there with me that morning, I have no idea of what, or anything He might have been saying to them, BUT, I was wide awake to Him speaking to me.
Its as if I was dreaming, or as Ray (Kevin Costner) Kinsella said in the movie the Field of Dreams.."I'm 36 years old, I love my family, I love baseball, and I'm about to become a farmer. But until I heard the voice, I'd never done a crazy thing in my whole life." I'm throwing this other quote in here as well re: dreaming..I love this conversation taking place in the movie..."Is this heaven? No, its Iowa! Iowa? I could have sworn this was heaven. Is there a heaven? Oh yeah. It's the place where dreams come true...maybe this is heaven."
Well I had done some very crazy things in my life and walk with the Lord up to this point, but there was more unfolding than simply being disillusioned here.It was the worst of times that morning as well as the best of times, but, it was just the beginning of my world being dismantled.
Thank you Father.
He then proceeded to fill in some of the blanks for me..Stay tuned.