Saturday, December 22, 2007

Blind, Deaf And Mute

There has been for some time a deep churning within me, much like the idiot light that comes on the dash board/panel of the car indicating that there may be a PROBLEM.
The light and in some cases a sound, associated with this warning is merely pointing to a potentially serious issue, and if one so chooses, it can all be ignored.

I have shared on my blog as well as with others over the years of how for the longest time I saw myself (maybe not at the time) very much resembling a prostitute. (One who sells one's abilities, talent, or name for an unworthy purpose.)

Not knowing the reality of God the Father’s love provides a ripe and fertile (hot-bed) environment for this prostitution to take place, and here me, I’m simply speaking for myself.
I said to my wife as we were coming back into town after being gone for the day, ‘I’m making this up as I go along’, meaning, in my wildest dreams could that statement have any relevance to the Father of my spirit, actually guiding and directing me in the moment?
Without this unfolding reality of the Father’s love at best I see myself not just being immobilized, but much more as an spiritual quadriplegic.

His haunting but relentless question of, “Who do you (Richard) say that I Am” will never be answerable apart from His great love for me.
I find it far too safe and easy to cop out by copying and pasting wonderful quotes from this or that person. Of course they are great and wonderful as long as I never know the reality of His love for me!

Lately it’s been as if Father has been putting it to me this way, Son I really want to make myself known to you, but is it first permisable with Oz Chambers, or Jim Palmer, or Wayne Jacobsen, or anyone else that has become a substitute for poor wretched mute Richard?
One of the very first things I see happening as a result of His love opening up and freeing us from the paralysis of fear, is He gives us a voice to speak of Him and His doings in us.
If you look into the account of the blind man from birth in John 9, you will see that as he is being interrogated, he speaks of the One who made it all possible.

My wife got me thinking even more about the paralysis of muteness when she was talking about how God had chosen Moses to be His mouth piece to speak His words to Pharaoh, but what happens is indicative of finding (because of fear) another voice to speak on my behalf, and for Moses it was his brother Aaron.

I’m simply wanting to flesh out (unpack) this churning that He is doing in me, so please bear with me.
I see that in NOT knowing what (who) the Truth is, what appears to be ‘real’ dictates how I live, if one would dare call it living.
Meaning, does my Father need anyone else other than Himself to be the one who unstops my mute and paralyzed heart (tongue)?
Is it possible that my Father is interacting with me, guiding, speaking to me his son, but what if I haven’t published any books, songs, or held any high profile meetings, but simply experienced the ability because of His love to see and speak of His love, with no audience to be wowed over.

In my opinion, isn’t it the lowest form of demoralizing (prostituting) ourselves thinking when we read or hear someone like a present day Aaron speak about God’s interacting in their life without the stammering or stuttering, how dare I imagine that I actually was hearing or sensing Him in my life?

To the extent to which I allow others to speak for me – to use the words God is saying to THEM, not to me – I shortchange myself. Is God not capable of speaking to me uniquely, as an individual? If he is capable, then why am I relying on what others say?

I believe it was Anne Sullivan that signed on Helen Keller’s hand that Jesus loved her, to which Helen replied in sign, ‘I always new there was a God, I just didn’t know his name was Jesus.’


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