Saturday, September 06, 2008
....But trusting God conditionally
I have been and I’m still experiencing what it means to be awakened out of the ‘death’ life/sleep I inherited along with all humanity through what Satan offered us in the garden.
As long as I am alive within this jar of clay the father of lies will have access to my soul that is not yet fully saved, transformed.
The offer to man through the father of lies was one of being, having control of one’s life, rather than being dependent upon anyone e.g. God.
This is so ingrained within us to even think, let alone act any differently from what we see as are genetic disposition, that our only hope must be found in the Truth of God the Father’s total unconditional love for us.
I have and I know I will battle as long as I live with fear, this thorn in my flesh was not aborted when I was reborn, it was left there and is working for my good, being all part of the dynamic tension of learning Christ as my only Life! Let me say this, as long as we have flesh with Satan in it, fear is always there but maybe not realized.
Let me try and spell-flesh this out in a way that you as well may identify with.
It came to me this morning that I seem to be operating more often than not contrary to how my Father is relating to me in and with His total unconditional loving acceptance.
Meaning, am I trusting Him in the now moment with conditions attached to what I call trust, if so, isn’t this still ALL about trying exercise control?
There is NO one who has had or ever will have any control over any aspect of their living no matter how much money or connivances they posses. In a moments notice everything I know can change from good to bad, from bad to insane, that’s a given but, I have been given a sacred trust.
That trust is in knowing and celebrating my poverty, weakness, emptiness, why, because His strength is made perfect in such wonderful things.
Here is my question to me and you who are saying you are trusting the Lord of and for your life, future. First, once again it is a fact we have no control over our circumstances or situations, but, we will never have taken away from us the ability to Chose to turn to our Papa to be to me in my now moment exactly what he says He is, I AM!
The likeness of His son will NOT be fully formed within me as long as I am attaching conditions to my trusting Him.
So am I trusting Him only to get my own way, or because I want to learn as Jesus my elder brother did. Although being perfectly God’s only begotten son, was made perfect through that which he suffered, learning obedience through those designed sufferings.
I/we will miss out more than we even know in trying to trust Him with my hidden conditions/agenda attached to my so called ‘trusting’ Him.
Am I trusting Him so that things will turn out better, or am I trusting Him to BE to and in me all that He has promised?
Is He satisfied with my lip service of, ‘I’m trusting’ you Papa, but with unseen (to me) conditions and agendas, but not trusting, worshiping Him with my heart and my future?
I am slowly learning that fear is actually something Father is using to set me free from, choice by choice, turning to Him with fear howling at me I discover what is mine now, and not will be there tomorrow.