Look at me Dad

Even as I begin to write these words, I can barely see through the heart brokenness within spilling out through a flood of tears. Not tears of shame or guilt but of a sobering reality of my loving Papa saying to me, “Son, look at ME!”

How many of you that have kids and maybe there all grown up now remember back through their growing up years would reach out to you by saying, “Look at me dad?” Weren’t they wanting to see mirrored back to them through our hearts, eyes and waves, I am valued, I am special, my dad just said SO.

I missed out on mirroring back to my two precious children that total loving affirmation and acceptance of them for who they were and not for what they would be or could DO.
I was a father needing so badly a father to love me, I was alive but dead in not knowing I was totally loved, this prevented me from giving what I did not possess.

In reading more of He Loves Me by Wayne Jacobsen, I suddenly heard the voice of my heavenly Papa saying, “Son look at me, I’m here for you, I have never taken my eyes off of you, you are and have always been in my heart and thoughts.”
I sensed in a new way Father saying, “keep looking at me son, see mirrored in my heart/eyes, everything you will ever need. Son it is my delight to make known to you in the deepest places of your being, how pleased and proud I am of you, let’s explore together all that is, and yet to be yours.
As you learn to freely drink deep of my love, freely you will have me as your source to liberally give away!"

I feel very much like a small child learning the wonder of crawling, and yet hearing my Papa shout out, “That’s my son, look at him go!”

Rich